Packing up and moving to a new location....

Just a note to say that I have moved.  My new blog can be found here:

http://www.kitchencamper.blogspot.com/

The main idea for the move is that this was one place that I found a person can leave a comment on a blog without having to register or make an account.  So drop on by, give a read and leave a comment or two...please...anyone who reads this...hello....please?

kitchen experiments and pickers/grazers

Well, we had a few interesting culinary treats happen in the kitchen today.  The first thing to mention is the Baba ghanoush.  I have no idea how we managed to get this item or why it appeared but I came in and saw in the freezer a case of this stuff.  The 1^st cook talked me in to taking it out and thawing it to serve to the geotechs, figured they were the only people desperate enough in the granola eating life style to actually like the stuff.  We had 9 plastic containers of the stuff and over the night it thawed and was ready to be used the next day.  So I took it out and put it into a half insert with the plan on putting it in the salad bar.  Now, I am not sure what it is supposed to look like in the real world, but in camp this stuff looks pretty much like *ok, gonna have to forgive this gross description but seriously this is what it looks like* runny baby poo.  I mean, seriously it is all light brownish in colour with little seeds of something in it.  Radio keeps calling it hummus but the 1^st cook keeps saying that it isn’t hummus but is Baba ghanoush.  Only difference between hummus and Baba ghanoush is that the former is made from just chickpeas and spice beaten to a pulp whereas the later is chickpeas and spices beaten to a pulp with eggplant.  Though was told that we can’t just put out the Baba ghanoush, but have to put out something to go with it.  This is how I found myself over the deep fryer with cut up pieces of tortilla shells.

If you take the soft tortilla shells (like the ones you would use in a wrap) and you cut them into squares and put them in the deep fryer at 350’ for a few minutes, they actually crisp up nicely.  I cut up two packages and deep fried some of them.  I tried one and had to say that I was not impressed by the taste in the least and found them to be too dry and all.  However, having said that I also found myself going back to them in their container and eating one going “yep, they are dry, I don’t like these” and walking away only to find myself back there 10 minutes later eating another one asking myself ‘why am I eating these things????’.  I was also told by Stephanie that I should try to toss them with seasoning salt and bake them instead of deep frying them.  I gave it a whirl with a few and found that while baking probably made them healthier for you they came out even dryer than the deep frying.  Though with the baking, just like the deep frying, I still found myself back at them picking away at them and couldn’t stop.  I have been told that my efforts were worth it since now the geotechs are, in the words of the 1^st cook, ‘singing your praises in song and dances through the esteemed halls of geotechary’.   Thumper did ask me who made the chips and when I said I did he gave me the thumbs up and told me that they were awesome and amazing.

The other thing that I did that came out pretty good was a stuffed baked potato.  I made 67 of them though only 64 made it to the line.  It seems that in my rush to get everything on the line I happened to leave a small pan of 3 stuffed potatoes in the oven at 400’ a little too long.  Now, whereas some would classify this as a mistake and error in the cook’s part, I, however, have managed to spin it in my mind in that this was a ‘learning exercise’.  After all, before I did this I had no idea what would happen to a baked stuffed potato that was left in an oven at 400’ (high heat) for a little over an hour.  After this little learning exercise I now can say, without a shadow of a doubt, that the potatoes turn a really hard and crusty shade of black/brown and the insides get really hard.  See, experimentation in the kitchen is fun.  However, the other 64 stuffed baked potatoes came out really nice.  I had them all piped out nicely with a wave design on the top and on two pans I sprinkled grated cheddar cheese on and let that melt as well.  So they were bacon and green onion stuffed baked potatoes with cheese on top.  I ended up throwing out 26 of them at the end of the evening.  So, 38 people had my stuffed baked potatoes.  I think that isn’t too bad a number to count considering we normally make 70 plain baked potatoes and end up with 25 or so at the end of the evening to use for potato wedges for lunch.  I feel this to be a good accomplishment considering the last time I made stuffed baked potatoes was for a dinner party with friends and they sort of melted in the oven*G*.  Seems I might have added a little too much sour cream and butter to the mashing of the filling so that once heat hit it in the oven it just oozed out of the skins and all over the place.

I have also come to the conclusion that there are at least two personalities of people passing through the kitchen that I have decided I dislike.  I will call these people either ‘pickers’ or ‘grazers’.  These are not exclusive terms like ‘male’ and ‘female’ where you are one or the other permanently (with the exception of serious surgery to change the classification).  You can be a picker and then graduate to grazer status and then, an hour later, be back to a picker status. 

A picker is basically someone that will quickly walk by your work station where you are either chopping or cooking something and take a small bit of what you are doing (either one piece of carrot or a handful of raisins) out of the bin or container and walk away eating it. 

A grazer is like a picker but instead of grabbing and walking, the grazer will stand right next to the bin and continually pick and eat what you are doing.

 I find both of these personalities in the kitchen incredibly annoying and frustrating.  Mainly because I can never tell when a grazer or picker is going to be stopping by and how often they are going to pick or graze.  I try to make just enough of a certain item so that I don’t have left over’s or wasted product.  Like, if I am going to be making 24 breakfast sandwiches and will need 3 strips of bacon for each one, then I will tray up 72 pieces of bacon and cook them off.  However, when they are cooling and I am preparing the eggs, it is annoying when a picker will come by and go “mmm, bacon” and grab two slices and munch them as they walk out the door before you can get the words “hey, don’t eat that you filthy beast!” out of your mouth. 

The grazers are almost even worse because they will stand there and just keep on eating and you have time to say “hey, leave that alone...stop eating...back off you twit” and instead of leaving they laugh and continue to eat while they are talking to you.  Granted I don’t think it would be so bad if the grazer would do the work themselves and eat what they work at but they don’t, they eat your work.  I can be there slicing carrots for a salad and the grazer will stand there eating the carrots I put in to the tub and talk to me about how much they love carrots and enjoy eating carrots or even ask me what kind of salad I am making.

So yeah, if you happen to have these personality traits when I am cooking in the kitchen, know that I must dislike you for this.  It is nothing personal, just a little quirk I am learning that I am developing having worked in the camp kitchen with co-workers a little too long.

laptop problems and potatoes

Had a huge huge scare on Wednesday.  It seems that on Wednesday night Windows decided to download and install a new update to help make my life easier, I am guessing.  Coincidentally, immediately after that I got what people are refering to as a 'blue screen error'.  Now, as everyone knows (or will know about me now) I am the most computer unfriendly person in the world.  I am like an 80 year old man when it comes to these over grown calculators.  I figure I want computers for only two things, playing video games and chatting on the net with my wife (cause I am too cheap to pay high prices for long distance telephone calls).  I really don't need these things to do more than that.  However, it seems that Microsoft and the world wants them to be smaller, faster, better with deeper colours and more gadgets and things in them to make KITT from Knightrider seem like a hand held slide ruler.  So yeah, a blue screen error means nothing to me but apparently to the IT guy and the Mrs it means that something I downloaded in the update didn't like a program that I already had installed on the laptop.  The laptop was crashing repeatedly and I kept getting this blue screen error telling me to contact my service tech support.  Oh yeah, middle of no where, tech support really does not exist for me at the moment.  I did, however, manage to get in sometime for more then 2 minutes and my Windows did say that it had detected an improper shut down the last time it was running and did I want to search for a solution.  I clicked the 'yes' button and it went in to action and my hopes went up a little bit thinking "maybe, perchance, it will save the day and give me back my laptop'.  Alas, that was a failure since it would throw up a pop up window saying "windows will notify you when a solution has been found" and then go to a blue screen and shut down.  Not really helpful since the only way Windows can notify me is through the computer, but if the computer shuts down, how are they going to notify me?

Oh well, problem was solved.  Managed to find a button and screen that took me back to a point before the installation of the new update happened.  It is back to normal, but a little slower than normal.  The funny thing is that the night that I got the laptop up and running I get a pop up balloon saying that windows has downloaded and is ready to install new updates, do I want to continue.  Since I could not find the "heck no you freaking crappy piece of technology" button I had to settle with the 'cancel' instead.  Sort of loses the whole effect I think but oh well, go with what you are given.  So here is hoping that my laptop doesn't try to be 'helpful' and install the update without my permission, which aint gonna happen till I am out of camp and in the condo with a Futureshop full of people that have my laptop on warranty within a ten block walk of me.

Other things in camp that have happened.  I think I have an idea as to why Thumper is being such a pain, and not just because of the whole moldy cups/bowl incidents.  I heard through the grape vine that the Geotechs (which he and a bunch of other granola eaters are) are coming to the end of their contract and will be let go in a rotation or so.  So this might be their 'lets get back at the kitchen' push and they can be PITAs (Pain In the Asses) because they might not be coming back so we really can't do anything out of the ordinary to them later on.  I think Thumper is just being the annoying mouth piece for the whole lot of them cause he really has no quams about being a PITA.  Yesterday he hit the 1st cook up for a small bag of tortilla taco shells to make his home made 'tacos' and was pestering me for cheese and chick peas all day long.  Apparently he wanted a can of chick peas to put on his food and when I said we don't order 14 oz individual cans but only order the 100oz big cans he asked me to set aside a small tupperware container of chick peas for his dining pleasure when I do open a can of chick peas.  Since he is such a friendly guy and worthy asset to the company and camp....I think that we wont be having chickpea salads for maybe 2 and a half more weeks.

On a good note, I think I got a duchess potatoe recipe down pat.  Tony 1 showed me how to make them a month or so ago and they came out really good except it looked like they were melting somewhat.  Curtis happened to be in at the time and he gave me some advice on what to do to rectify that situation.  So the other day when we were having mashed potatoes, I took some of them and did a practice run on the duchess.  I have to say that they came out pretty good.  Instead of cooking them slowly at 300' for 15 minutes I took Tony 1s advice and blasted them in the oven at 450' for 5 minutes.  It gave them a nice toasted outer shell but still managed to keep the inside nice and soft.  So on Sunday we are having prime rib and going to try to do the duchess again on a larger scale.  Though they were sort of bland on the practice run so on Sunday I might try to jazz them up a bit with some green onion or something to give them a little more flavour.  Just hope that they don't turn out like the towers of cement that I put out the last time.  Figure if I don't listen to Tony 2's advice or anything, it should be good.  Tonight is steak night so going to have to find a good recipe for stuffed baked potatoes since the last time I did them at the condo, they sort of melted away.

So other than that, nothing really much happening here in camp.  Though I have come to the conclusion that I do enjoy being in camp and working and all and if we could just get rid of the people and a few co-workers, this would be a really fantastic place to be.  However, since we can't, will just have to settle for it being a good place to be at the moment.

Return of Thumper

Oh boy, oh boy...Thumper is back in camp.  Oh let me introduce you to the joy that we have in camp that we call Thumper.  First off, why do we call him Thumper?  It isn’t because he is as cute and cuddly as Bambi’s friend from the movie..ohhh, no....The reason we call him Thumper is because wherever he walks he feels the need to stomp his feet loud and clear.  There was once a time when Stephanie heard him walking and asked him why he stomped his feet like that and he went “really? Is that me?” and she looked around and said “who else?” to which he had to reply “I don’t know, I just thought it was someone else”.  There was no one else in the room or down the hallway.  The guy definitely lives in his own little world of bliss.  In fact, if ignorance is bliss, this guy must be in a 24/7 orgasm all his life.

What happened tonight with the bundle of joy?  We had a Capensis fish with a béarnaise sauce.  Sounds really impressive but it is basically a nice delicate white fish with hollandaise sauce that has been infused with a cooking white wine (not exactly the best since it is non-alcoholic cooking wine and really salty but oh well, in a dry camp, what can you do?) and tarragon.  It was really good I have to say.  So how can this drive me insane?  At 7:55, 5 minutes before we shut down, Thumper comes up and asks me if we have any fish without the sauce on it.  At 7:55pm, everything is on the line and we have nothing in the back.  I say no and that is all we have.  He then politely asks me if I can wash the sauce off his fish for him.  I thought he was joking until he started to pick up the fish on the serving spoon and hold it out to me like  I was to pick the fish up and wash the sauce off by hand.  I had to go back and get a strainer and at a couple minutes to closing I find myself over a sink gently washing the béarnaise sauce with hot water (so not to make cold fish for the delicate Thumper) off his fish.  Oh yeah, if you think I was mad you should have seen the look of fire in the 1^st cooks eyes, not to mention Henry, who isn’t shy about saying swear words about people so that everyone around but the person he is talking about can hear it.  This isn’t the first time that he has done something like this.  On steak nights when we have garlic or St Louis buttered shrimp he routinely asks us to wash the butter off the shrimp for him.  I refused to even do the washing when he asked me but told him I would make him fresh ones.  Mind you, the fresh ones took about 5 minutes longer than normal shrimp.

He isn’t only a pain in the butt when it comes to food in the kitchen, he has managed to annoy the housekeepers as well.  About a month ago, Thumper was going out for his two weeks out and the housekeeper (Duanne) was cleaning his room like normal.  Duanne had the whole room dusted and changed but he still smelt something funny in the room and it was driving him a little crazy with curiosity.    He looked under the bed, behind the curtains and even in the medicine cabinet and found nothing.  Finally he opened the cupboards and found about 4 coffee mugs and 5 bowls in the cupboard.  Now if they were clean ones he wouldn’t have been that annoyed, but the coffee mugs still had tea bags in them and scuzz on the bottom with mould all over it.  You know when you are eating cereal and you have eaten all the big chunks of it and there are the little pieces of cereal that have broken off that are left floating in the bowl?  Yeah, these had been in the cupboard so long that the milk had evaporated and the little chunks had fused on to the bowl like cement.  We had to soak the items for an hour before we could take the steel wool to them to take it off.  Duanne was so mad he showed it to Tony and Tony got Thumper’s supervisor and dragged him to the BBQ deck (where Duanne took them to show Tony and Tony refused to move them to take them to the supervisor) to show him what was happening.  Granted, we don’t know if anything happened out of it.  Who knows, maybe this washing of the sauce is Thumper’s way of striking back at us for turning him in and showing the supervisor what a little piggy he really is.  Too bad that we are allowed to eat cereal or drink tea in our rooms or else we might have a leg to stand on to get him fired and removed from camp.

Along with that thing that annoyed me, something surprised me.  I told everyone that Sage and Big D were going to be working on the DEW line together and we are now placing bets on who is going to survive the clash of the titans.  People are putting their money on Big D because while Sage apparently seems only slightly possessed, Big D is totally and completely possessed.  Though when I asked everyone who they thought was the better baker, everyone seemed to agree that Big D was the better one.  This took both my brother and me by surprise.  The reasoning everyone was going with is that Sage came up with strange and weird things (like a powdered almond and walnut cake or a pumpkin cheesecake with rum sauce) while you knew exactly what Big D was baking since it was all basic and ordinary stuff (like a chocolate cake and a pie).  I do agree that you can tell exactly what Big D was baking since it said it on the box and all you had to do was go to the freezer and find the cake/pie that looked like the one in the fridge you were questioning and you could read not only the name but the ingredients in it as well.  Whereas all Big D’s desserts were premade, I don’t think there was a single thing that Sage put out that was premade, or if she did use premade stuff (like the croissants and all) she added stuff and changed them so that they weren’t just plain stuff but new and improved stuff.  Anyways, will have to see what happens in this area in the upcoming time.  Just a little ticked that I am on days as 2^nd cook when I was supposed to be on nights doing baking and training and all.

dipper eggs and political sudden death

oh, almost forgot a funny thing that happened the other morning.  A guy came in to the dining room that looked a lot like Adam from Mythbusters.  He came up and started to talk to me and he sounded almost exactly like Adam as well.  I was half expecting him to say something like "right, now once you have my eggs cooked, let's take them out back, pack them with 500lbs of gunpowder and blow them up!"

He came up to the line and asked if I could make 'dipper eggs' for him.  I guess I had the look of "ok, this is a new one...am I on candid camera?" on my face cause he started to explain.  Apparently he was after eggs that were in the shell and were cooked but still runny enough so that he could dip his toast and other things into it to eat.  It was like someone trying to describe a helicopter to a pilot using only a description of it.  I asked if he meant a soft boiled egg and it was like I had switched on a light bulb and he said yes, that is what he wanted. 

As crazy as this sounds, I have never had to cook a soft boiled egg in the kitchen before.  I make hard boiled eggs to put on the line but they are easy to make.  Take 24 eggs, put them in a metal container and throw them in the steamer for 12 minutes.  So I took 4 eggs and put them in the steamer for 4 minutes from a cold steamer.  When the time was up I took one out and cracked it open, put it in a bowl and called the guy over.  I showed him the eggs and said that was what they were at now, would he like them harder.  He said they were perfect and took them quite happily.  So, for all people out there, if you ever happen to run across someone asking for 'dipper eggs' they are soft boiled eggs about 4-5 minutes in a boiling pot of water.

That reminds me of the time I went to Sheldon and asked for a basted egg.  He looked at me like I was insane and asked what a basted egg was.  I explained that you start making a sunny side up egg and then throw a little bit of water around it and put a pie plate or metal bowl over top of it to hold the steam in.  The steam then steams the top of the egg slime to a filmy white and you have a basted egg.  He then looked at me and said "oh you want a steamed egg, no problem".  Seems out in the maritimes they call basted eggs steamed eggs.  Guess we all have our different words for the same objects.

Oh, and before I forget, I am thinking of sending a letter or email to all political people in Canada about any thought of an upcoming election.  I figure in this time of economic struggle and recession (it still is going on right? I have been in camp a little too long sometimes and miss what is really happening out there.  But last time I checked we were in a recession), the Canadian people can not continue to support political parties in their never ending struggle to gain enough control of the gov't to actually do anything.  Whenever Canada gets a minority gov't it always seems to be that nothing is done cause the one in power tries to make changes, is blocked by the opposition, the country goes down a peg, an election is called and the opposition goes "see, they didnt succeed, we were better" and the whole cycle starts again.

Here is my proposal, we have one last final election and we treat it like a true blue blooded Canadian would, sudden death hockey style.  All ridings in Canada make one final push for the peoples vote.  The politicians are not allowed to say what the other person will NOT do, they can only say what they WILL do if voted in to office.  If the politician slings mud or says anything about the other party, a penalty is called, the politician is removed to the 'penalty box' and they are not allowed to run in this election.  Canadians vote and it is basically a winner take all type of election.  All the votes are tallied and whichever political party gets the most votes in all of Canada takes control.  No more 3 liberals, 2 conservatives and one green from one city with certain ridings or the Conservatives have 45 seats, Libearls 35 seats and Green Party has 3 seats.  If all the votes are tallied and the conservatives have 30000 votes and the liberals have 30001 votes then the Liberals take complete control of the gov't.  In this case, all the Liberals that ran in the election are voted in to office and take control.

This doesn't mean that they are now in power forever.  Here are the restrictions:

1) The ruling party is only in power for 8 years.  After 8 years we have another election in the old style with the seats and ridings.  By giving the one political party 8 years, they can do enough with the country to either enhance it unrestrained by the opposition, or take it down in flames in which case with the next election the power will be hopefully moved to another party for their kick at the cat;

2a) All politicians pay and pension for their service will be reduced down to a liveable wage, and by that I mean take the average yearly income of Canadians and that is their liveable wage.  No more $200,000/year or whatever for their time in office and then a healthy 6 figure pension after only 12 years or so of service.  Time to remind them that they are there to represent the people, for the people, by the people and are doing it out of patriotism and good will, not to have a comfy easy ride and early retirement.  Consider it like being a lawyer or doctor not to get the BMW or Porche to impress your friends but because you actually care about your fellow man and justice.

2b) IF, in the event that the controlling gov't does manage to pull off the impossible (and by that I mean totally get rid of the national debt, increase health care/education/jobs/economy and what ever of Canada.  Basically take Canada from the spirally level it is and fly it high in to the clouds safely) then I propose using the income of Canada as a sort of dividend factor.  Take all the debts and liabilities that Canada has and take them away from all the money being brought in (by foreign investors, taxes and such) and if there is a surplus, give each politician 1-2% of that and the rest goes to reinvesting in to Canada.  So, if they make Canada a prosperous country, they benefit; they run it into the ground or keep it going down hill, they get nothing.  Time to start rewarding success in business instead of rewarding slowly sinking the boat instead of just letting it bottom down.

Who is with me?  does this sound like a reasonable answer to our troubled times, or am I flawed again in my reasoning?